Website was Born on 7th August 2011, last evolved 23rd October 2015

A working knowledge of Northern Ireland, though not essential, would help you to appreciate the nuances of this piece, if, indeed, there are any. The Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem were Aran-sweatered singers of classic (not to be confused with classical) Irish songs. Hamiltonsbawn is a little village in Co Armagh which just about closes for the night about 9 o'clock.

When my numbers come up I'll be one happy pup

With the money my dreams can come true.

I'll buy a big mansion, with room for expansion,

but I'll also keep claiming the 'broo'.

I'll buy a Range rover, and get my leg over

a Harley-Davidson motorbike.

I'll spend money like water; get the wean a jotter

and buy anything else that she'd like.

Though I come from the Moy I intend to enjoy

all the things that money can buy.

I'll carouse until dawn around Hamiltonsbawn.

I'm gonna be that kinda guy.

I will sail on Lough Erne; I'll have money to burn.

I'll have parties all over the place.

In County Fermanagh I'll wear a bandanna.

Might keep midgies away from my face.

In Smithfield I'll wander; the bargains I'll ponder.

I'll browse in the old record shops

All the memories are there, from Bill Haley to Cher,

Elvis Presley and Top of the Pops.

I will buy anything from Sinatra to Bing,

if I find that it takes my fancy.

And it might even be, a swingin' 60's LP

by Makem and the Brothers Clancy.

I'll buy a computer, and with it I'll futer

though I won't have a clue what to do.

There's Facebook and Tweetin', and Email card greetin',

and somebody they call a Yahoo.

I will cut a fine dash when I'm out on the lash,

getting it on with a Playboy Bunny.

I'll pull women like flies, but the stars in their eyes,

will be not for me, but my money.

I'll pass the time o' day, down the Champs Elesyee.

In the Moulin Rouge I'll make merry.

I will cruise on the Nile, I will do it in style;

then sail home on the cross-channel ferry.

I could go on for hours, about this world of ours;

all the places that I'd like to see.

But I'd want to get back, for I'd miss all the craic,

and fish suppers or a Chinese for tea.

And when push comes to shove, d'ye know what I'd love?

A quick skite round the coast with the wife.

And if shove comes to push, a weekend in Portrush,

would do me for the rest of my life.

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