Website was Born on 7th August 2011, last evolved 23rd October 2015

Marylou's E-Romance

A shy girl called Marylou,
didn't know what she should do
when a fellow came a-calling at her flat.
He was most annoyed to find,
that she didn't seem to mind
if he stood all day upon the 'Welcome' mat.

She did not invite him in,
because she could smell the gin
he had drunk before he came round to her place.
And if that was not enough;
he was stood there in the buff,
and she did not like the look upon his face.

So she thought to hell with that,
I'm not standing here to chat
with a fellow who is not correctly dressed.
And I wonder why he must,
keep on staring at my bust
when it's obvious he's not overly impressed.

So she thought she'd rather meet,
one who'd sweep her off her feet
though she wouldn't want to fall and break her neck.
But if he was big and fit,
he'd make sure she didn't hit
any part of her physique upon the deck.

So she logged onto the Net,
sure and certain she would get
the perfect man who would meet her every need.
From the vast array of men,
she chose one whose name was Ben
though he looked as though he needed a good feed.

They met on a Monday night;
and decided that they might
hit it off and then become a loving pair.
So they went out for a meal,
and they both had curried veal,
which would not have been my choice had I been there.

Then Ben took her to a dance,
but she looked at him askance
when he told her what he thought that they should do.
"I am not that sort of girl,
but I might give it a whirl;
but excuse me, for I must go to the loo."

So she sat upon the loo,
wondering what the hell to do
when a thumping on the door made up her mind.
It's too good a chance to miss;
I can dream of wedded bliss;
he is wealthy, and no pre-nup will be signed.

They set out upon a walk,
giving them the chance to talk
but the clouds were looking ominously grey.
Started raining cats and dogs,
to the great delight of frogs,
and the ducks all said it was a lovely day.

They were soon soaked to the skin,
but a farmer took them in
and he put them in a barn among the hay.
While he went and stared and cursed
at the river banks that burst
and then watched the water wash his crops away.

Now then Ben and Marylou,
didn't quite know what to do.
They were soaked and looked like rats that had been drowned.
So they lit a little fire,
in an old adjacent byre.
Watched in horror as it burnt down to the ground.

Then they legged it up the road,
where they ran into a load
of the stuff that should be spread upon the land.
And then she started thinking,
I'm soaking wet and stinking
This is not the way at all I had it planned.

This boy Ben will never do;
I could end up with the 'flu,
and I'll not forget that feed of curried veal.
I keep thinking of the buff;
it would do me well enough,
There was something about him that did appeal.

I will go back to my flat,
and spring clean the 'Welcome' mat
and I'll hope and pray the buff boy will come back.
If he does I'll pull him in,
and I'll fill him full of gin
and snuggle down to enjoy the best of craic.

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