Website was Born on 7th August 2011, last evolved 23rd October 2015

'Tis Christmas. It's that time of year

when everything is twice as dear.

Shops are full of berried holly.

Everywhere synthetic jolly.



There's lots of Christmas cards to send

and next month's salary to spend

on food and wine and crisps and beer.

One must lay in the Christmas cheer.



Who'll be the first to decorate?

Must get them up! Must not be late!

The outside too. The thousand lights.

Many will come to see the sights.



The carol singers at the door

won't do 'The sash my father wore'.

They'll sing of Bethlehem at night

and of the holy wondrous sight.



Those Office parties to endure

and Christmas parcels for the poor.

Just stick in last year's bottle of wine.

No-one will notice; it'll be fine.



And Santa Claus must bring them toys

or all the little girls and boys

will sulk and cry and whinge and scream

if he does not fulfil their dream.



Kitchen rotas for the slackers.

Plastic cack in Christmas crackers.

The Queen is on the box at three.

A glass of wine, a bit of brie.



Let's play Monopoly or Risk.

I'll have to give the cream a whisk.

We visit them, they come to us,

and hope that no-one makes a fuss.



So after you have been well fed

think of the lowly cattle shed

where a mother laid her baby.

It's what it's all about . . maybe.



And if you're bored, and all else fails,

go queueing up for Christmas sales.

Or stay at home; get full and full,

and have yourself a Happy Yule.



'So here it is, Merry Christmas, everybody's having fun.

Look to the future now, it's only just begu - u - un'

Brought to you by Slade, with Noddy Holder






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