Website was Born on 7th August 2011, last evolved 23rd October 2015
I wish I were an aardvark
with the given name of Andy.
I'd be the first on any list,
and that could be quite handy.


Maybe I would rather be
a stroppy kangaroo.
I'd never wait for anything;
I'd simply jump the queue.


The fastest animal once raced
a turbo-charged two-seater.
But it was banned for taking drugs;
that's why it's called a cheetah.


The mighty wandering albatross
can stay aloft all day.
But why it wanders through the skies,
I really couldn't say.


A male in skin-tight PVC
wearing make-up and lip glossing.
Minced black and white across the road,
it was a zebra crossing.


The hummingbird's a happy chap;
he just hums the whole day through.
It's not that he's forgot the words;
it's just what hummingbirds do.


An octopus, all tentacles,
never knows which one to use.
But going out for Sunday lunch
it wears four pairs of shoes.


You could not compare the meerkat
with any other creature.
It's the only one speaks English
its sole redeeming feature.


The duck-billed platypus lays eggs
although it is a mammal.
Committee men designed a horse:
it ended up a camel.


I've heard tales of stormy petrel,
but I thought it was a bird.
Turns out it's slang for North Sea oil.
I'll stop. I'm being absurd.





Check out the latest offering from the gifted DM
Check out the latest offering from the gifted DM
Check out the previous latest offering from the gifted DM
Check out the previous latest offering from the gifted DM
Check out other big favourites from DM